Category: Who I am

Listen.

If you’re young and have people over 45 in your life, this is for you…


You may roll your eyes because they can’t do anything with modern technology.


You may think some of their ideas are strange and maybe even fanatical.
Maybe their opinions are outdated. Maybe they’re not progressive enough for you. Maybe you think they don’t understand how you feel.

But you should listen.


Here’s the thing: experience is one of the greatest teachers in the world. If you’re under 25 you have far less than most people over 45.


Experience births wisdom. Experience gives you common sense. Experience brings a strength and tenacity to your life that nothing else can.


I’m not saying you swallow everything they have to say, or that you should roll over every time they tell you to do something.


I’m just asking you to listen.


I have serious gaps in my thinking at 21 (everyone does- it’s part of being young!) Listening to people with the advantage of age has helped me broaden my horizons and learn what really matters.


Dismissing what they have to say does me no good. Pondering their ideas (even if I completely disagree with them) has only been good for me.


Seriously, just listen.


P.S. I understand that not every person over 45 is worth listening to in this aspect. If that’s the case for you, start actively looking for people older than you who can be active voices in your life. It’s one of the best investments you’ll make.

Musings: Political Rallies

Rallies… oh the chaos.

Protestors shout obscenities and hold signs that degrade the opposing voters. (Hint: you’re not making a difference in the world. At least not for the better.) I get that it’s your right to protest. But think before you create negativity rather than positivity.

Inside, everyone bumps around and pushes each other to try to get the closest view of the political candidate everyone is talking about.

Said politician comes in and shouts phrases that are crowd favorites. Everyone chants them in unison, getting high off the crowd mentality and feeling like they are creating a better world by doing so.

At the end of the speech, the politician closes with the whole reason for the meeting: I want your votes.

Then the crowd presses in as he leaves, and throws signs at his face for him to sign. He leaves tired, and goes on to repeat the entire event.

Politics is not the way to change the world.

Day 4: the Apprentice Mindset

Work Copied: Pride and Prejudice Chapter 5

There’s always room for improvement.

I feel that deeply, having just started apprenticing at a startup. When you are young in a trade, you pull information from those around you constantly. You listen closely, seeking for nuggets in every conversation.

This apprentice mindset is like a greenhouse for professional growth. That’s why you see young people quickly rise from being relatively unskilled to carrying themselves confidently in the workplace.

I feel like many people lose this apprentice mindset somewhere in life. Man hits a point in his life where he feels he has reached the summit of his career or life. He forgets the sheer passion of his youth, the driving force behind his growth. He wipes away the memories of his clumsiness, and loses the curiosity he once had for the world.

I’m writing this because I don’t want to ever become that. No matter what happens in life, I don’t want to lose the apprentice mindset.

This is my commitment: to never lose curiosity for the things I don’t know; to always listen with the intense desire to gain what I can; to give myself wholeheartedly to the next adventure.

Photo by Peter Hershey on Unsplash

 

Let Me Fail

Here’s what I love most about being a teenager: it’s expected that you’ll make mistakes often. Many people give you room to grow.

However, the more open you are about your goals and dreams, the more pressure is put on you to get everything perfect.

Additionally, as you learn and succeed, people start to expect you to get everything right the first time. It’s an unspoken rule that when you master one thing, you have to master the next.

On one hand, this is extremely motivating to me. I love the pressure, and I strive to make progress every day, to reach my goals, and to succeed at what I put my mind to.

On the other hand, this makes me somewhat frustrated. It seems like a young adult can look at failure in a positive light all he wants, but it never changes other people’s opinions of his failure. They smile and wag their heads, saying “I knew it all along,” and forget about him.

As a young person who is excited about life, I plead for every teenager who is trying out new ideas:

Let me fail.

 

Don’t try to stop me because you think my dreams are too big. Don’t stand in my way because I might hurt myself. And if I make a mistake, urge me to fix it and become a better person because of my failure.

Failure is an integral part of the learning process. To the people surrounding the young, passionate learners among you: Stop modeling failure as bad. Recognize that experience is one of the best teachers anyone can learn under.

Let me fail.

 

Parenting: Featuring my Upbringing

“Don’t you guys fight at all?” a young friend asked me as she watched my siblings interact at a youth retreat.

I paused for a moment to think.

“Come to think about it, no,” I replied.

Every time I give that answer, people look at me like that I just told them I have superhuman powers.

Culture has gotten to the point where everyone believes that it’s normal for families to be at odds with each other constantly. I wasn’t raised like that.

It goes back to parenting. I owe my perspective and confidence to my parents, who modeled what relationship was supposed to be. Here are some ways they raised us that differ from normal parenting.

1. I never heard my parents raise their voices out of anger or frustration.

I don’t understand why anyone thinks they are going to prove a point by yelling. Here’s the thing: humans are selfish. They tend to think of each situation from their own perspective. This perspective will only be strengthened if others throw opposing opinions loudly in their faces.

Children are individuals. I think parents forget this often. They try to mold their kids into a certain behavior pattern that hopefully holds up as they grow into adulthood.

And when the child shows his individuality by contesting a parent’s wish, mom or dad freaks out, trying to frantically put the nice behavior pattern back together. And yelling is the preferred approach.

Parents are to be guides, not slave masters. You have in your hands the life of an individual. If you crush that individuality by pushing your point, you will lose the relationship that could be yours, and

There was one exception to the yelling in my life. If there was an emergency, then was the time to use the powers of your voice. This way, we learned to act quickly and without question in the face of danger. We knew instinctively that there was a reason for the tone our parents took on. Even then, it was only one quick word, then they would reduce to normal levels to talk us through emergency procedure.

2. My parents always heard my opinion.

This goes back to the individuality concept. Many times kids don’t want to do what their parents ask is because they don’t understand the reasoning behind the request. My parents didn’t just tell us to do things because they said so. Instead, we talked about the situation that caused them to come to the decision they did.

When dad and mom were wrong, they admitted it. If my ideas were good, they changed their perspective and put mine into practice. If my opinion was faulty, I was never the worse for having spoken my mind and heard the whole process of reasoning.

The result? I trusted my parents enough to do things just because they said so. I knew that they had solid reasoning behind their decisions, and I based my actions off that knowledge.
You can’t build a relationship by shutting down the voice of your child. Instead, focus on setting precedent by hearing his or her ideas, and expressing your position genuinely.

3. Honesty was always the first priority.

We knew that we had an alibi if we would only tell the truth. My parents always heard us out. We didn’t get punished for making mistakes. But we weren’t spared if we lied about our actions.

Mistakes are a part of life. My parents taught me to realize that facing those mistakes head on is the best key to personal growth.

Honesty also helped my relationships grow stronger. If we had quarrels as children, we knew that if we were honest, we would be given the chance to fix our wrongs and move on. This birthed healthy relationship mindsets in our hearts.

Now, we are simply honest with each other about thoughts, feelings, and ideas. This keeps our relationships open and solves any problems that might come up. We have hard conversations, but we leave with stronger connections than we came with.

Did my parents do everything right? Absolutely not. But I appreciate the mindsets they built in me and I apply many of the same principles they taught me to my interactions with children today.

And if and when I have kids, I will be sure to use these three tools daily.

Stop Networking- Start Being

 

“Hey, what can you tell me about podcasting?” I asked a friend one day when the idea behind Edcuationeering was new in my mind.

“Actually,” she replied, “I just did an episode where I covered the basics of creating your own podcast. Check that out, then we can do a quick call.”

I did, and fell in love with her podcast, Photosynthesis, immediately. I began putting the ideas in my mind to use, and before I knew it I was hosting my very first interview.

Later on, after searching all the free music download sites on the internet, I came across an article by a fellow Praxian about his music project. I reached out to him about possible intro music for my new idea.

Immediately, he jumped on it, and late one night, he sent me a beautiful soundtrack for the podcast.

But what about a logo? At just that moment, another friend posted on Workplace about a project he was doing: creating logos. He wanted actual projects if at all possible. So I messaged him my abstract concepts surrounding the podcast. He developed the fascinating bow-and-arrow logo which has become the face of an idea that birthed itself in my mind only two months ago.

All of a sudden I realized: this is networking! Before, it was an elusive concept that every entrepreneur around me attested to. Now, it was a real process coming alive in my personal experience. I looked around me: all those emails and phone calls promoting my idea were building social capital. Each interview I host gives me one new connection built over an hour-long conversation.

And I couldn’t help but laugh at the big deal most people think networking has to be. I am by no means an expert, but haven’t humans connected with each other for thousands of years?

Yet there are tips from gurus everywhere: Go to this conference, or do that one simple trick that will solve all your social issues.

The idea of “networking” has become so overused that we have lost what networking power we may have had. Instead of building relationships based on mutual goals or common ideas, we have created a formula which we employ to robotically reach out to others.

Don’t miss the chance of genuine friendships because of being so focused on finding the perfect connections. Stop networking and start being:

1.Be excited about what you’re doing.

Alec Steele is a famous Youtuber who makes videos that document his process as a blacksmith. He dropped out of school at age 16 to focus on his passion.

He’s found his niche in an area not many Youtubers frequent. But the reason his videos get so many views is due mostly to his love of the trade and general zest for life. It comes through in everything he does.

Show your work. Document the process. Do what you do with passion; people are naturally drawn to those who love their life.

2. Be genuinely interested in other people.

Jesus’ parents found him in the temple at age 12, after searching for him for three days. What was he doing? Networking. He was engaged in the deep questions of rabbinical discussion that were common in the Jewish culture. He simply threw himself into the topics at hand, and the people around him were amazed at the wisdom of his questions and answers.

One of the most influential men to walk this earth, Jesus didn’t have a special 3-step formula for getting people to like you. His networking advice was, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  

This concept is a good one for everyone to ponder. We love when others show interest in our lives. We gravitate toward people who like us. We love people who listen to our thoughts and dreams.

Want networking advice? Be the person who cares genuinely about others.

3.Be a Value Creator.

A local company called Knightly Creations had a stand at the lumberjack festival my family went to recently. Their stand with its sparkly customized objects attracted my younger sisters, who were my charges for the day. They got caught up with the idea of the raffle being held. After I explained the concept of probability and warned them of the risk involved, both girls decided to invest two dollars into the raffle.

The day wore on. I didn’t expect to ever receive a call. The odds were definitely stacked against us. But I was surprised to pick up my phone and realize that the owner of the very stand where we had bought the tickets was calling me.

“Hey,” he said, “We drew the tickets recently, and your sisters’ tickets were unfortunately not drawn. But I wanted to make them each a mug anyway.”

I was honored, and my little sisters were thrilled. A week later they had their customized pink mugs, complete with unicorns an sparkles.

This random act of kindness had a huge impact on me. Because the owner of that stand noticed my little sisters, he created immense value for me. He didn’t have to ask me to post reviews all over social media highlighting the awesome customer service of the company.

I’ll bet he had no idea that he was networking. He was just creating value for other people, being genuinely interested in the learning process of my sisters.

Networking is much easier than you thought.

It’s not about doing everything just right. Be yourself, create value for others, and reach out to people. When you get down to the basics, it’s achievable.

 

For more resources on this idea of networking, check out:

 

 

 

The Lolita You Didn’t Know

Cool facts about me that most people don’t know:

  1. I was born in Paraguay, South America. Yep. Down in the red dirt in a little hut. My parents were missionaries down there for several years. They moved back up to the States when I was a year old.
  2. Consequently, Spanish was my first language. I only really started speaking English when I was around 4 years old and started preschool. We slacked off with the Spanish later on, but all of my siblings can understand the language.
  3. I spent most of my life in Texas. I grew up on a small country property. I bottle fed calves and raised chickens. We had to travel half an hour to get to the closest grocery store.
  4. I love the piano. I taught myself everything I know, and I play for myself and the people I love. It’s the way I express emotion
  5. I love playing anything that will make music.  I have been known to compose pieces of music on park toys. My latest cheap instrument of choice is the tin whistle. I also have been playing around on a ukulele. If it makes music, I’m in!
  6. I’m always up for a game. Raised in a large family, there is no end to the games I love to play. Board games, card games, party games, word games… Some of my favorites are Scattergories, Mancala, Phase 10 Dice, and Quirkle. (I have never played with anything but 100%. Some people call it competitive; I just say I’m extremely passionate.)
  7. I crochet when I have spare time. I have to keep my hands busy, and I love making little gifts for family and friends. My latest creations have been arrow headbands and bookmarks. (Follow me on Snapchat: country_anne15. I post random pictures of creations.)
  8. I love to read. My dad collected old books, and I have a fascination for the classics. Socrates and Shakespeare each have their separate places in my heart, although I am always up for a good read on psychology or business.
  9. I write poetry. Sometimes, when I am in the melancholy or sentimental side of my nature, I express myself through free verse or other versions of poetry. I love the way poetry flows, and the mystery that it speaks with.
  10. I love kids. I’ve been around them all my life. I’ve watched many as they grow up, and have been in charge of large groups ever since age 12. It’s given me awesome perspective on parenting, and I love the challenge of reaching the heart of each individual child I work with.
  11. I am passionate about teaching. Teaching anything to anybody. I love trying out new ways of teaching: visual versus kinetic, for example. I love seeing people’s eyes light up when a concept finally makes sense. I live for moments like those.
  12. My spirit animal would be either a wolf or a lion. I’ve heard both. I tend to be a lone wolf in many situations, and I will kill for the people I love.  I am fierce but gentle at the same time: lionhearted.

May your aim be true! On to the next adventure…

Insert Question Here

Image result for question

Questions are not a sign of ignorance, as many believe. Actually, they are smartest conversation tool we have.

Jewish rabbis are master teachers. They teach based on the individual. They rarely give students straight answers. Instead, they give a statement from which the answer can be inferred.

But the greatest teaching tool that a rabbi uses is the question. They believe rightly that a student who hears an answer out of the mouth of the teacher does not own the answer. Many will ask seemingly unconnected questions in order to lead individuals to find answers for themselves.

Ray Vander Laan, a teacher and an indirect mentor of mine, tells a beautiful story illustrating this point:

On a trip to the Holy Land, a woman stepped into a Jewish painter’s shop. Admiring the paintings, she asked the shop owner, “Which one is your favorite?”

The shop owner didn’t answer right away. Then he looked up at the woman and asked, “Are you married?”

Not the kind of answer an American looks for. But the woman replied, “Yes. Why?”

Insert: if she had not finished her answer with “Why?” the shop owner would have said “Ok”, and that would have been the end of the conversation. A big part of Jewish teaching requires a student to want the answer badly enough to keep seeking it out. No rabbi speaks unnecessarily.

“Do you have children?” the painter continued.

“Yes. I have three. Why?” the woman wondered.

“Which of your children is your favorite?” 

Boom. Not once did the Jewish painter have to make a statement. The woman left the shop with a profound understanding of the owner’s attachment to his paintings. He didn’t have to go into long philosophical arguments about how he had poured his soul into each painting, and given each his best. In fact, his questions left a greater impact on the woman by connecting to her heart.

The power of the question is extremely underrated. Everyone has go to’s:   “How are you?” “What’s up?” “How’s the weather?” But no one dares to ask good questions.

That is, except for children. They are full of curiosity, examining the world around them and questioning everyone that comes in sight.

What changes between childhood and adulthood? Many times children are shamed for making inquiries. That shame takes over culture, and by the time a generation of kids is grown up, we have a civilization who thinks it is a sign of weakness to ask a question.

I say that good questions are the strongest communication technique available to us. Why?

Questions engage.

Humans by nature like to talk about themselves. A good question directs attention toward the other person, sparking individual passions and desires. When you engage a person’s brain, he retains more information. Besides, everyone likes speaking with someone who stirs their thoughts.

Questions connect.

By showing interest in another person’s life, you create a connection point to that person. The best conversations happen when both parties are engaged in the discussions. The more people feel you have in common, the more they will gravitate toward you.

Questions Inspire.

Engaging conversations lead to strong connections. Strong connections birth ideas. That’s what relationships are all about: creating value for the world through the combined force of minds and souls.

Take the time to ask good questions. Here are several to get your brain going:

  • What did you learn today?
  • What do you know that I don’t?
  • What do you think about (insert common topic)?
  • Do you have any current projects you’re working on?
  • How do you like to learn?
  • What are you currently studying?
  • Who is your favorite thinker?
  • What is your favorite book?
  • What is the best aspect of today’s culture?
  • What do you wish people knew that they don’t?
  • How do you stay productive?
  • Would you rather (insert icebreaker paradox)?
  • Is important to know history in order to understand culture?

The things can ask anyone are endless. Use these ideas to strengthen the relationships around you. Stop letting the lie of weakness quell your questions.