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Tragedy changes a person, no matter how you look at it.

It can harden your heart or tear it to shreds. It makes you seek the comfort of people one moment and loathe their company the next.

Many times people use the tragic situations in their lives as crutches to excuse their behavior. Instead of focusing on the hard part of tragedy, I am reflecting on the lessons I have learned because of facing tragic situations.

1. I have learned that no matter your situation, there is someone in the world that has it harder than you. This realization taught me not to pity myself, and to face life head on even if it’s hard.
2. I have found that I am stronger than whatever comes my way. That’s something you don’t understand to a deep level unless you have faced a heartbreaking situation.
3. I have learned to appreciate the little moments. I don’t take anything or anybody for granted anymore.
4. I have learned that it’s always worth it to give everything you have. You don’t have nearly as many regrets if you make the choice to
5. I know that it’s not worth the energy to wallow in hurt. Getting back up and making your best attempt at life will always heal you faster than feeling sorry for yourself.
6. I empathize with others who have gone through tragedy. I can understand the deepest level of the pain of loss, because I have walked that road. It gives me the ability to understand others and help them grow through the process of their lives.

Whether a tragedy takes you down or grows you is your choice. In the height of pain, it’s hard to feel like it will ever get better. But I can promise there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I have so many memories of my childhood. The ones that stick out the most in my mind, however, are the memories that are attached to strong emotions.

In fact, my earliest memory is linked to sheer terror. I remember 9/11. Many people recall the exact place they were when they heard the news of the Twin Towers. But not everyone was under two years old when the attack occurred.

That’s right. I was just 21 months old. We were traveling with friends. My dad was in the passenger seat of the 12-passenger van we were traveling in. My mom was beside me, and I was enjoying the ride in my car seat.

Then dad got the call. I have no recollection of anything he said. I remember the look on his face as he told my mom what had happened. And I remember the stab to my heart that makes the moment stand so clear in my mind.

I don’t know if I picked up an emotion from my parents, or if even at that young age I realized that this event was much, much bigger than what anyone imagined.

Regardless, it’s interesting how fear makes memories stand out. Because the emotion puts your whole body on full alert, your senses are extra sharp, ready to make a quick run or to stand guard and fight.

The memories stick out because of all your senses being fully receptive to surroundings.

If I want to remember a moment for years, I take this perspective and act on it. I wear certain scents of perfume or chapstick on days I don’t want to forget. Or I take a moment to observe my surroundings, drinking in my environment.

Try it: open your eyes wide, to take in all you can see. Take long, deep breaths, letting the smell of the moment flow through your lungs. Stay silent and listen for the smallest noise that may spark your memory later Touch your face with your hand, or run your fingers through some sand nearby. Taste raindrops as they fall. Live the moment to the fullest extent possible.

Choose to alert your senses and train your brain to remember the good things in life. Try it: it’s pretty fun!

When explorers set out on a new adventure, they always have tools. Two of the biggest are a compass and a map. Together, they give the explorer a guide to the trail he is conquering.

Even if he walks into uncharted territory, the explorer keeps his map close by, changing details or adding landmarks as he presses forward. He constantly compares the compass and the map with his environment.

Your goals are your compass. Your schedule is your map.

You may not be the type of person who needs a detailed schedule to get things done. Yet even a simple map is a huge advantage in the hand of an explorer. Likewise, setting priorities for the days ahead helps make your ideas reality.

I sent this week’s goals to a mentor as an accountability practice this evening. I am exhausted. I know I need a long night’s rest to prepare me for the week.

But something about taking the couple moments to plan the week gives me energy. I now have a priority for each day.

It’s amazing how even twenty minutes of thinking and can put even the biggest projects into perspective.

My compass for the next while is my podcast. My map is the weekly plan I lay out.

And it’s great to be compared to an explorer. You’re welcome for the simile!

This week, check your compass and your map. Are you moving in the direction you want to?

Press on, adventurer!

I enjoyed dramatic interpretation to the fullest extent during my high school years. My favorite presentation ever was an individual event I did with my homeschool group, Classical Conversations.

The rules for the presentation were simple: take another author’s work and put it into a speech of your own.

I chose Mark Twain’s Tom Sawyer. I have always been a fan of Twain’s dry humor. He’s a master storyteller: Tom Sawyer was real and alive to me from the first time I read the book.

The passage I selected was one of pathos, tenderness, pain, and humor all in one. It featured Tom’s first kiss with Becky Thatcher, and their eventual breakup all in one. The challenge was to put myself in both character’s shoes at the same time.

Tom and Becky are completely opposite characters. Tom is a renegade who never does anything right; Becky is the model of an angel. It’s your typical bad guy- good girl combination, but in juvenile form.

The scene starts with Tom flirting with Becky, finally getting her to kiss him. He makes the mistake, however, of mentioning his previous love, Amy Lawrence. Becky cries. Tom consoles and coddles as many men do, but fails utterly. He even offers her his prized andiron knob, but Becky throws it down. Solemnly, Tom leaves, but recovers soon enough. Becky, however, reconsiders and tries to find her young lover. When he is nowhere around, she changes her mind once more and decides to hate him forever.

Young love. It’s so real and understandable in the scene. I had a blast memorizing the story (I spend 2 hours a day for several weeks practicing). And my time paid off: my presentation was flawless, according to my tutor’s grading.

I just had several points docked off because I ran over the maximum time limit per selection.

Sometimes I have experiences that make me wonder.

My family traveled to Georgia for the solar eclipse in August of 2017. We were all passionate about experiencing this phenomenon for ourselves. Being a homeschooled family and unattached to any system, we did as we pleased and planned a short family trip to the area of totality.

Weird enough things happen to us already. The kids spray painted our trailer with their names and my oldest brother even painted the eclipse in the corner. We were “that” crazy homeschool family that couldn’t care less what people thought. On top of that, when we were checking out places to stay in Georgia, we found every campsite and hotel room had been booked a year in advance. Of all places to spend a vacation, we booked a Super 8.

Regardless, the eclipse was amazing. We found a tiny park by a river and watched in peace. The next day, we visited Tallulah Falls, where we hiked the gorge and climbed hundreds of steps to see the waterfalls.

But the most awesome event of the trip was the last day. We went to Stone Mountain. The huge rock juts 825 feet into the air. Carved into the side are the pictures of three Confederate heroes: President Jefferson Davis, General Robert E. Lee, and General “Stonewall” Jackson. It was quite a hike, and an amazing source of Confederate history and inspiration.

On the way down the mountain after the hike up, I met one of the coolest people I have ever talked to. I saw him coming toward me, and immediately felt like connecting to him.

So I introduced myself, and asked his name.

“Julius Lee,” he answered. “I’ve climbed this mountain 7 times since this morning.”

I thought he was kidding.

“Look me up,” he said. “I hold the world record for climbing this mountain the most times in one day.”

Sure enough. I looked him up, and found that he holds the Fitbit world record. This guy climbs Stone Mountain 6 times every day. This excludes Saturday’s, when he climbs it 10 times.

What dedication. What a beast. I left shaking my head. I should have snapped a picture with him. But I was too thrilled about meeting him to even think through that.

What if I hadn’t followed that urge to talk to him? I’d have one less cool experience to relate. I’d have one less motivating story in my back pocket.

You never know who you’ll run into. Keep your eyes open, and let life come to you. Cool things are right around the corner if you’ll just open your eyes.

The most important aspect of life is love. When you strip existence down to its bare bones, there isn’t much that actually matters.

Dreams come and go. Some fade, some become reality. Decisions cause stress throughout each day. Money changes hands. Success sometimes seems far away.

What truly matters in life? Love. Giving of yourself and receiving from other people. It’s not about the amount of money you make, or the fame you have. Loving and being loved by another person is what makes life worth living.

So focus on the people around you. Give unconditionally of yourself. Don’t wait around for the next big event. Stop struggling so hard toward success. Instead, give all you have to the people around you.

When you die, your fame won’t matter. Someday, it will die. But the amount of love you spread will never fade away. Make a difference. Love.