Author: Lolita Allgyer

Just Do It

It’s interesting to me how much difference it makes just getting one thing done.

I had been pushing off the nitty-gritty aspects of my podcast, spending time instead focused on emails and interviews. I’m proud of what I did there, but there are still things that need to get done. Things that don’t come as easily as interviews and emails.

I need to create my MailChimp list, and have the first template ready for the release on April 1. I have to finish editing the audio for at least three episodes. I have to record the first episode for the podcast, explaining my view on education and giving helpful resources that listeners can come back to. I need to get the webpage up for the podcast, and put together a good Facebook page.

None of these things are hard in themselves. None of them take very much time when it comes down to it. But somehow, in my mind, those things got pushed to the back. Somehow I made these actions feel like a big deal.

Today, I recorded the intro for my podcast. Simple step. I added it to the intro music that Lucas Doherty, a fellow Praxian, recorded for me. I now have an MP3 file of the intro ready to go.

Just getting that one little thing done was wonderful for my perspective. Now, it doesn’t look as hard to finish the rest. Now, I know that I can complete my project by the date I set for myself. All it took was taking the first step and getting to work.

Feeling unmotivated or stressed about a project? Here’s my tip: break it down into small parts that you feel you can complete. Then, as Nike advises, Just do it.

 

 

Adventures with Tom and Becky

I enjoyed dramatic interpretation to the fullest extent during my high school years. My favorite presentation ever was an individual event I did with my homeschool group, Classical Conversations.

The rules for the presentation were simple: take another author’s work and put it into a speech of your own.

I chose Mark Twain’s Tom Sawyer. I have always been a fan of Twain’s dry humor. He’s a master storyteller: Tom Sawyer was real and alive to me from the first time I read the book.

The passage I selected was one of pathos, tenderness, pain, and humor all in one. It featured Tom’s first kiss with Becky Thatcher, and their eventual breakup all in one. The challenge was to put myself in both character’s shoes at the same time.

Tom and Becky are completely opposite characters. Tom is a renegade who never does anything right; Becky is the model of an angel. It’s your typical bad guy- good girl combination, but in juvenile form.

The scene starts with Tom flirting with Becky, finally getting her to kiss him. He makes the mistake, however, of mentioning his previous love, Amy Lawrence. Becky cries. Tom consoles and coddles as many men do, but fails utterly. He even offers her his prized andiron knob, but Becky throws it down. Solemnly, Tom leaves, but recovers soon enough. Becky, however, reconsiders and tries to find her young lover. When he is nowhere around, she changes her mind once more and decides to hate him forever.

Young love. It’s so real and understandable in the scene. I had a blast memorizing the story (I spend 2 hours a day for several weeks practicing). And my time paid off: my presentation was flawless, according to my tutor’s grading.

I just had several points docked off because I ran over the maximum time limit per selection.

Insert Question Here

Image result for question

Questions are not a sign of ignorance, as many believe. Actually, they are smartest conversation tool we have.

Jewish rabbis are master teachers. They teach based on the individual. They rarely give students straight answers. Instead, they give a statement from which the answer can be inferred.

But the greatest teaching tool that a rabbi uses is the question. They believe rightly that a student who hears an answer out of the mouth of the teacher does not own the answer. Many will ask seemingly unconnected questions in order to lead individuals to find answers for themselves.

Ray Vander Laan, a teacher and an indirect mentor of mine, tells a beautiful story illustrating this point:

On a trip to the Holy Land, a woman stepped into a Jewish painter’s shop. Admiring the paintings, she asked the shop owner, “Which one is your favorite?”

The shop owner didn’t answer right away. Then he looked up at the woman and asked, “Are you married?”

Not the kind of answer an American looks for. But the woman replied, “Yes. Why?”

Insert: if she had not finished her answer with “Why?” the shop owner would have said “Ok”, and that would have been the end of the conversation. A big part of Jewish teaching requires a student to want the answer badly enough to keep seeking it out. No rabbi speaks unnecessarily.

“Do you have children?” the painter continued.

“Yes. I have three. Why?” the woman wondered.

“Which of your children is your favorite?” 

Boom. Not once did the Jewish painter have to make a statement. The woman left the shop with a profound understanding of the owner’s attachment to his paintings. He didn’t have to go into long philosophical arguments about how he had poured his soul into each painting, and given each his best. In fact, his questions left a greater impact on the woman by connecting to her heart.

The power of the question is extremely underrated. Everyone has go to’s:   “How are you?” “What’s up?” “How’s the weather?” But no one dares to ask good questions.

That is, except for children. They are full of curiosity, examining the world around them and questioning everyone that comes in sight.

What changes between childhood and adulthood? Many times children are shamed for making inquiries. That shame takes over culture, and by the time a generation of kids is grown up, we have a civilization who thinks it is a sign of weakness to ask a question.

I say that good questions are the strongest communication technique available to us. Why?

Questions engage.

Humans by nature like to talk about themselves. A good question directs attention toward the other person, sparking individual passions and desires. When you engage a person’s brain, he retains more information. Besides, everyone likes speaking with someone who stirs their thoughts.

Questions connect.

By showing interest in another person’s life, you create a connection point to that person. The best conversations happen when both parties are engaged in the discussions. The more people feel you have in common, the more they will gravitate toward you.

Questions Inspire.

Engaging conversations lead to strong connections. Strong connections birth ideas. That’s what relationships are all about: creating value for the world through the combined force of minds and souls.

Take the time to ask good questions. Here are several to get your brain going:

  • What did you learn today?
  • What do you know that I don’t?
  • What do you think about (insert common topic)?
  • Do you have any current projects you’re working on?
  • How do you like to learn?
  • What are you currently studying?
  • Who is your favorite thinker?
  • What is your favorite book?
  • What is the best aspect of today’s culture?
  • What do you wish people knew that they don’t?
  • How do you stay productive?
  • Would you rather (insert icebreaker paradox)?
  • Is important to know history in order to understand culture?

The things can ask anyone are endless. Use these ideas to strengthen the relationships around you. Stop letting the lie of weakness quell your questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Never Know…

Sometimes I have experiences that make me wonder.

My family traveled to Georgia for the solar eclipse in August of 2017. We were all passionate about experiencing this phenomenon for ourselves. Being a homeschooled family and unattached to any system, we did as we pleased and planned a short family trip to the area of totality.

Weird enough things happen to us already. The kids spray painted our trailer with their names and my oldest brother even painted the eclipse in the corner. We were “that” crazy homeschool family that couldn’t care less what people thought. On top of that, when we were checking out places to stay in Georgia, we found every campsite and hotel room had been booked a year in advance. Of all places to spend a vacation, we booked a Super 8.

Regardless, the eclipse was amazing. We found a tiny park by a river and watched in peace. The next day, we visited Tallulah Falls, where we hiked the gorge and climbed hundreds of steps to see the waterfalls.

But the most awesome event of the trip was the last day. We went to Stone Mountain. The huge rock juts 825 feet into the air. Carved into the side are the pictures of three Confederate heroes: President Jefferson Davis, General Robert E. Lee, and General “Stonewall” Jackson. It was quite a hike, and an amazing source of Confederate history and inspiration.

On the way down the mountain after the hike up, I met one of the coolest people I have ever talked to. I saw him coming toward me, and immediately felt like connecting to him.

So I introduced myself, and asked his name.

“Julius Lee,” he answered. “I’ve climbed this mountain 7 times since this morning.”

I thought he was kidding.

“Look me up,” he said. “I hold the world record for climbing this mountain the most times in one day.”

Sure enough. I looked him up, and found that he holds the Fitbit world record. This guy climbs Stone Mountain 6 times every day. This excludes Saturday’s, when he climbs it 10 times.

What dedication. What a beast. I left shaking my head. I should have snapped a picture with him. But I was too thrilled about meeting him to even think through that.

What if I hadn’t followed that urge to talk to him? I’d have one less cool experience to relate. I’d have one less motivating story in my back pocket.

You never know who you’ll run into. Keep your eyes open, and let life come to you. Cool things are right around the corner if you’ll just open your eyes.

Musings: What Matters in Life

The most important aspect of life is love. When you strip existence down to its bare bones, there isn’t much that actually matters.

Dreams come and go. Some fade, some become reality. Decisions cause stress throughout each day. Money changes hands. Success sometimes seems far away.

What truly matters in life? Love. Giving of yourself and receiving from other people. It’s not about the amount of money you make, or the fame you have. Loving and being loved by another person is what makes life worth living.

So focus on the people around you. Give unconditionally of yourself. Don’t wait around for the next big event. Stop struggling so hard toward success. Instead, give all you have to the people around you.

When you die, your fame won’t matter. Someday, it will die. But the amount of love you spread will never fade away. Make a difference. Love.

How A Sandwich Changed My Life

 

I always loved helping my dad in the kitchen. Maybe it was because those moments were always the times he was home.

Saturday mornings were my favorite. He would always make brunch for the whole family.As a young child, my favorite thing was to imitate Daddy and help him. It was his hands that guided mine as I flipped my first pancake. He taught me how to crack eggs into a bowl for him to scramble later. All the while he patiently listened to my never-ending chatter as I set the table for the feast he had made. Together, we experimented and planned. Together, we made every Saturday breakfast a memorable experience.

I remember watching him. One day he began putting together the most diverse concoction I had ever seen. I watched mustard, pickle juice, and cottage cheese go into the bowl of eggs. After adding a couple seasonings and whisking the mixture vigorously, Dad poured everything onto a hot griddle. I watched through the glass lid as the egg mixture rose. I toasted the bagels. Daddy made the bacon and the sausage on large pans in the oven. We put mayonnaise on the bagels together. Then Dad cut the egg mixture into squares.

I watched in awe: this was a new creation and I was involved. Carefully we layered eggs, bacon, and sausage on the bagels. After adding a slice of cheese, the sandwiches were ready. Proudly, I carried them to the table. It was the best breakfast we had ever eaten. Something about the egg concoction mixed with bagels and cheese felt like the best soul food we could wish for.

From then on, we begged every Saturday for “daddy’s sandwiches”. We had brunches and invited people over. Every time we went to the store, we bought bagels. It became our family tradition.

Fast forward a few years. The day was rainy and cold. But not as dark and dreary as my future. My daddy had passed away suddenly a couple nights before. It was Saturday morning again. And I knew there was one thing I had to do.

Slowly I got the bagels out. Crying, I mixed up the eggs. I knew how. I had done it a dozen times before. I put the pans of bacon and sausage in the oven, alone. And alone, I put together sandwiches for each of my siblings.

I sat down, but I couldn’t eat. Not today. These weren’t daddy’s sandwiches. I had made them without him. The breakfast had become a symbol of his protection. Now that he wasn’t here, how could I ever go on?

But then I looked around, and saw my little siblings. They were watching me. I had to go on. There was no option. “For daddy,” I whispered and took a deep breath.

That first bite held all the memories of a life that felt so far away. Right then, I was with my daddy again. His hand folded over mine again, teaching me how to cook. His voice encouraged me, and his eyes smiled down as once more, I ventured into a new path with his help. Right then I realized I could go on. It was then that I knew, whatever happened, I could live again. Through a sandwich, I found that the people you love never leave you.

It’s just up to you to see that.

People Power

 

There’s a common theme I have heard from numerous self-educators recently. It’s an idea that almost every successful dropout, entrepreneur, and freelancer attests to.

This concept is the power of networking. Yes, it’s cliche. Many do not understand it fully simply because the word “networking” has been overused. Continue reading People Power