Vanessa Van Edwards talks about taking Vows of Silence in her challenging book, Captivate.
How to play: Set a designated time frame in which you will be completely quiet. Keep a handful of notecards around for those common answers like “Yes” and “No”. Have one notecard that explains that you are taking a vow of silence in order to listen better.
Here’s the reasoning behind the game: Most of us don’t actually listen to what others are saying. We pay attention for a couple seconds, then begin formulating what we are going to say in response to the opinion of the person who is speaking. This means we focus much of our brain power on ourselves rather than on the individual with whom we are conversing.
Taking a vow of silence means a investing in a brain exercise: can you focus intently on another’s ideas simply for the sake of giving them a listening ear? Or do you find yourself drifting off to your opinion before hearing them out? This exercise forces your brain to focus all its attention on the individual in front of you.
We live in a culture that doesn’t take the time to truly listen. The multitude hears, but it doesn’t listen. It takes true concern for others’ ideas to build quality relationships.
It’s time to put your personal opinion away, if only for just a couple hours. Take the time to focus on hearing what the people around you have to say. Chances are, you’ll find a whole lot of new ideas you didn’t realize, because you were so wrapped up in your ways.
Who wants to try this game out? I’ll bet it’s going to be more of a challenge than you think!